The kind of learning I have been craving June 29, 2010

This is the kind of learning I have been craving and the
kind of experiences I have long wanted to live in. I thought I’d share
with you a little bit of my summer way out here in crazy California,
because I don’t know how else to express my gratitude.

When I arrived at my new summer home, I was met by Shannon, whom I had to spoken to on the phone (during my first ever, incredibly awkward, group phone interview) and via e-mail. We had one of those
weird, almost hug-almost handshake-almost hug-okay we’ll hug, hugs. She told me, “In Berkeley it is all hugs;” I have come to learn just how true that statement is. As I walked around Berkeley, trying to get a feel for my new home, I was stopped every block or so–first by the flowers, then by the people. The houses here are hidden beneath layers and layers of color–yellow daisies, white daisies, flowers that carry shades of purple that I once believed only belonged to the sunset, blue ones, flowers that look like they came from a Dr. Seuss book, and roses, roses, roses everywhere. I complemented one neighbor’s roses as he was watering them, and he cut me two, a white one and a pink one. I’ve seen him riding down Shattock Ave. on his bike with his floppy Beatles hair.
As time moved on, and as I began learning more about nonviolence at the Metta Center, I could literally feel my heart getting bigger and bigger. Nonviolence teaches us about a love that belongs to the whole,
wide world. My get-to-know Berkeley walks were no longer only interrupted by the colorful flowers. I began to met so many colorful folks in the Berkeley community, especially folks that sleep on the streets or in the parks. I was overwhelmed in my mind and heart by how many of my new acquaintances were young folks, young folks that didn’t have beds to sleep in at night. I begin to offer them handshakes, hugs, leftovers, “Good-Morning”s, and “Have a good day”s”, silver coins, all coins, chocolate cake, whatever I could to bring smiles to their faces. I noticed their hands–colored with a thick brown from dirt, their cardboard signs—colored with words that said things like “Smile” and “Harmony,” their smiles—colored with easy an acceptance of “no” and acceptance of others’ ignore-ance, and I noticed their glow colored with gratitude, even when I had nothing to offer. We had a man named Jared Finkelstein come to the Metta Center to facilitate a workshop on Nonviolent Communication (NVC); during his workshop he said, “I don’t hear ‘no’ anymore, I only hear people saying ‘yes’ to another one of their needs.” I wonder if that is how my new friends, like Snowflake, who live without a bed, have come to be okay with hearing “no” so much.
Jared also shared with us a list of assumptions that Nonviolent Communication (as a theory/practice) is dependent on. I think this list is a pretty good list for my heart to be dependent on too.

1) Human needs are universal Connection (acceptance, affection, appreciation, clarity,
communication, community, compassion, intimacy, love, understanding) Interconnectedness (belonging, consideration, mutuality, support, trust, power) Competence (effectiveness, growth)
Meaning (contribution, creativity, hope, inspiration, learning) Autonomy (choice, respect, spontaneity, space) Peace (beauty, communion, ease, harmony, order) Honesty (authenticity, integrity, presence)
Celebration (joy, mourning, play) Physical Needs (nourishment, rest, sustenance, shelter/cover, touch)
2) Feelings point to needs being met or unmet
3) All actions are attempts to meet needs (maybe this is a key to forgiveness?)
4) All human beings have capacity for compassion
5) Giving is joyful when it comes from choice and connection
6) Connection arises from mutual understanding of needs behind behavior
7) There is enough for all to meet basic needs
8) Moving away from “right/wrong” judgments support us in making peace

When he handed us this list, I couldn’t help but think of our brothers and sisters that live in oppression and whom are denied the means to achieve these needs. In particular, I couldn’t help but think of our brothers and sisters that live in Palestine. Their basic human need for community has been denied by the building of the security wall. Their basic human need of understanding has been denied by the
United States’ multiple vetoes of resolutions of Palestinian understanding in the United Nations. Their basic need of support has been denied by our fear of being called “anti-Semitic.” Their basic human needs of power, growth, hope, choice, autonomy, space, beauty, ease, joy, nourishment, rest, sustenance, shelter. are all in serious jeopardy. Israel famously banned things such as cinnamon, jam, musical instruments, toys, and cement from entering into Gaza. Their homes are being bulldozed. Their gardens destroyed. The olive trees which have been a source of multi-generational livelihood are being uprooted or swallowed by the “security wall.” A study has shown that Palestinian children no longer have a will to live. Children no longer have a will to live. There it is, my number 4, “All human beings have a capacity for compassion.”
So, on Fathers’ Day my roommate, Nikki, and I woke at 4 in the morning. We were picked up by Kevin, a friend from the Alternatives to Violence workshop we participated in, and went to the Port of Oakland
to engage in a labor-community picket of an Israeli Zim Line ship. As we drove up to the port, the road was lined with a parade of folks–white folks, black folks, Asian folks, Arab folks, folks in wheel-chairs, old folks, young folks, folks on bicycles, folks wearing keffiyehs, folks carrying Palestinian and Turkish flags, folks in union jackets, folks singing “Which Side Are You On” and chanting “From the rivers to the sea, Palestine will be free.” It was beautiful. It was moving. We arrived at the first gate, where we were
handed signs, given hugs and swept into the march and chants, “Free, free Palestine. Do not cross the picket line!” We were then asked to move to the second gate because the first gate had enough people. When we arrived at the second gate, we joined the chanting, “An injury to one is an injury to all, the apartheid wall has got to fall!” We were not there long when we were then asked to move the third gate. Three gates were swarming with people singing, marching, dancing; it was an organized, strategic, constructive, obstructive, nonviolent movement.
We were moved by a mutual understanding that everyone has human needs, everyone deserves to receive these needs, and we were not going to support the blockade of these needs. The International Longshore Workers Union of the Oakland Port, joined with us in this refusal to support obstruction of justice in the truest since of the words, and with incredible integrity stood in solidarity, fleshing out their story that reads, “This is a story of a union. It concerns workers of all races and beliefs who came together with one single purpose: to achieve a better life for themselves and their families.” That day we were able to achieve our goal of a 24 hour blockade of the Israeli ship. I have no doubt that our victory was of hope, and the light we created has made it’s way past every inch of the 50 foot tall, Israeli Separation Wall and is shining in every Palestinian city.
As I continue to learn about nonviolence, and the love that belongs to the whole world, I find that my truth is blurring with everyone’s truth. As Frederick Buechner says, “Your life and my life flow into
each other as wave flows into wave, and unless there is peace and joy and freedom for you, there can be no real peace or joy or freedom for me. To see reality–not as we expect it to be but as it is–is to see
that unless we live for each other and in and through each other, we do not really live very satisfactorily; that there can really be life only where there really is, in just this sense, love.” Marching at the Port of Oakland, I felt like I was standing in my truth, in our truth, and demanding peace and joy for the Palestinians, peace and joy for me, peace and joy for you, peace and joy for all.
I think this where I am suppose to be. And that sure is a great feeling, a feeling of faith. I hope this reflection has found you all doing well and enjoying the summer.

With the warmest wishes of peace for you and the whole world,
Suzie